In the very last episode of "Friends," there's this scene where Monica and Chandler, after much anticipation, become parents to twins through adoption~ one boy and one girl.
When Monica is meeting her son for the first time, she tells him:
"I'm going to love you so much that no woman is EVER going to be good enough for you!"
It was a very Monica-ish thing to say. ;)
When this final episode of the final season of "Friends" aired (I'm still not over the fact that it's over...thank goodness for reruns), I was hugely pregnant with this guy right here:
Since he was my second son, I already knew all too well these feelings that Monica expressed.
I laughed at that line....because it was funny.
I nodded at the television....because I understood.
Maybe not the healthiest of feelings...but true nonetheless.
Yesterday I took Hud out for a hot chocolate date at Starbucks.He loves hot chocolate, and it was freezing cold outside.
He loves a date with his mama almost as much as I love one with him.
It's something we started a few years ago.
I like the idea of teaching them how to treat girls, the importance of holding doors open,
to be good listeners, to be gentlemen.
I try to take each of them out alone when I can...not in any particular order or with any real regularity, just when the opportunity presents itself, or if one of them seems to need a little extra mom time.
And I've learned a thing or two from these dates with my little men.
For one~ as cool as the three of them are together, they are a different kind of cool alone.
They talk about things that don't come up when the brothers are around,
and we have a quiet understanding that what is said during this time is sacred, and it stays there.
Out of the three, my middle man tends to be quieter, intuitive...very aware of others and their feelings. He's so incredibly sweet and thoughtful it will almost make your heart hurt, it's so full.
He's quite happy to let his brothers dominate the spotlight, and loves to see them happy.
Don't misunderstand....he can hold his own too, and has a stubborn streak like I've never seen.
I'm thankful for that streak, and love when he shows it....you see, we're kind of a loud bunch, his brothers and I, with Hud and his dad being the quieter ones. Good thing, probably...can't imagine what it would be like if all 5 of us were like me. Have mercy.
As he and I were talking and enjoying our hot chocolates, solving the world's problems, ;)
I couldn't help but think about the day when he does start to date.
I honestly don't think it would have come up if he hadn't started this conversation:
(and this isn't a secret, so I can share it)
"Hey Mom, when we're done here I need to buy one of those heart-shaped boxes of chocolate."
And so I sit there for a moment, relishing in the fact that I really do have the sweetest, most thoughtful middle son in the world because he wants to buy me, his favorite girl, some candy for Valentine's day.
But I played it cool and said, "Ok...who is it for?"
Then I sat back and waited for him to flash those darling dimples and tell me that of course, the chocolate was for me, his favorite girl in the whole wide world.
But things didn't quite go like that.
Instead he told me, (dimples showing, and varying degrees of red flashing on his sweet cheeks)
that they were for Susie* (name changed to protect the innocent;).
"Oh...okay!" (doing my best to hide my surprise, and at the same time feeling a sense of pride that Hud, at only 7, was already learning the importance of making a girl feel special and appreciated, but then on the flip side thinking that at only seven he was already picking up on the importance of making a girl feel special and appreciated.
I made a mental note to keep a close eye on this kid ;)
and then asked him what it was about Susie* that made him want to make her his Valentine.
His darling answer?
"Because she's my friend, and I like her glasses."
Darling. Little. Love. (the boy, not the valentine story)
Even though that's pretty cute too.
Needless to say, there is a little girl out there right now (maybe it's Susie, maybe someone else) who is going to grow up and fall in love with this boy some day, and she is going to be extremely blessed. :)
So you might be wondering what the take-away is today?
Well, here it is. One-on-one time with your children is important. In fact, it's downright magical. I know I focus on my relationship with my boys here, but that's because it's all I know. If I had a girl I would do the same thing with her~ we'd be off getting pedicures, having lunch at a tea room, shopping, etc. But God chose me to be a mom to 3 boys, and so I've made it my mission to be the very best boy mom I can possibly be.
There is something significantly different (obviously) about your relationship with your children that are the opposite sex. It's in my time spent talking to each of them, having fun with them without their dad or brothers around, that gives me a different look into the mysterious world of boys. It's made me understand the other men in my world a lot better...namely, my hubs and my dad. And my hope, in all of this time and attention given, in all my questions to them about why they like this or that, what their favorite things are, what they want to be when they grow up, why burps and farts are so funny (I'll never understand that one), etc., is that each one of my 3 will know without a doubt that their mom is crazy-mad-nuts about them. About every little bit of them. That as they grow, they will continue to rest in the fact that they can talk to me about anything they need to...that I'm a safe place. You see, their Dad is their hero. And he should be. They beam with pride when they talk about their daddy. As they get older I've begun to see their longing to go do everything their dad does. They fish with him, play baseball with him, go hunting, wrestle and play Nerf tag, watch sports and Wipeout (geez)....and generally anything and everything he does is the most amazing thing ever. As it should be...I love how they look up to him. But you can understand my fear that with every year they grow that I lose a little bit more of them. Maybe fear isn't the best word....I know full well how much those boys love me, and I know that's not going to change. But in the meantime, we'll continue to have our special dates, and I'm going to do my best to make sure they know I'm here, that I can handle anything they need to talk about...and that some day (like 20 years from now at least...lol) when they each meet "that" girl, fall in love, and get married, that I will happily gain a daughter, who will know how incredibly loved and treasured she is too.