Monday, January 16, 2012

I'm Sorry....He's How Old?!?

 There's this little guy who lives in our house.
Tomorrow, he's going to be five.
How in the world is my baby five years old?
As much as I love a birthday (LOVE)....not gonna lie~
I'm struggling with this one.

Don't get me wrong....I'm so happy and thankful to be celebrating another year with our youngest.
There is much to celebrate, and we plan to party all week. :)

Here we are the minute after I first laid eyes on him.

It felt like I had known him my entire life, and just like it did with his brothers, my heart grew bigger to accommodate this new love that God had so graciously placed in my my life.
I was smitten....and in the moment this pic was taken, thinking that he was amazing just for the simple fact that he entered this world so very quickly and easily. I quite literally sneezed him out.
I highly recommend that kind of delivery. ;)
In a flash he went from a dream to a reality. And in a flash I fell completely in love....with his tiny 6 pound, 13 ounce body, his sweet chin dimple, his gorgeous blue eyes, his monkey toes. The perfect amount of hair that had already grown on his delicious-smelling head. Smitten.

 Flash forward 5 years. Emphasis on the "flash forward" part, because, went fast.
 His beautiful blue eyes have turned to a glistening green.
He's still rockin' that chin dimple, but now he also likes to rock out on his guitar.
He's still the tiniest of the three (for his age, compared to where H1 and H2 were), 
now weighing 44 pounds and measuring almost 44 inches.
He has really great hair. ;)  His head still smells delicious.
And yes....I'm still smitten.

He's hilarious and headstrong.
He's sweet and caring.
He's obsessed with Star Wars.  Obsessed.
He loves peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and chocolate milk.
Cheetos and cake.
Blueberries and yogurt.
Legos are his go-to toys these days, and he's rarely found without a lego guy in his hand. Or his pocket.
He loves preschool, and thanks to Mrs. Cathy and Mrs. Laura, 
has decided that writing letters and drawing pictures is lots of fun after all.
He's really excited about being 5, mostly because when you're 5 you get to
stop taking naps and start going to kindergarten.
*double gulp*

I've been thinking a lot about why I'm having such a hard time with this birthday.
I promise I don't intend to be all melodramatic about it....I mean, it's not about me anyway.
Five is one of those birthdays that have an impact, probably because it marks the end of some things, the beginning of so many others.  I reacted in a similar way when Harrison and Hud each turned 5, so this is nothing new. But this time, it's the last time we will be celebrating 5. The official end of the baby years. The beginning of school, loose teeth, bikes without training wheels, and the tying of shoes. 
The first bigger steps towards independence.

For almost 11 years I've had a baby in the house. I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel a degree of panic when I start to think about what next year is going to be like with all three of them being in school.  All day.
There's a part of me that is a little excited.  Time to....myself?  What does that mean, exactly? My house will be so clean....but so quiet.  I'll have time to formulate organized thoughts.  And sentences.  Huh.  The preschool shows I've spent so many years watching on tv will be replaced with things like The Today Show and The View. Or I'll get caught up on my dvr for this first time in a long time. I'll probably join the gym or start a yoga class somewhere. Of course, I'll get more involved at the boys' school.  Maybe I'll actually start my master's degree. I'll have time to get a pedicure, to shop a little without interruptions.

But what will I want to do, you ask? I'll want to go back to how things were.  To spend my days playing with my boys like we did when they were little and our biggest decision was what to have for lunch, or if we should play outside before nap or after nap.  To go back to the crazy.  The chaos.  The ridiculous loudness.
What could make me crazy on a day-to-day basis then is sounding absolutely perfect today.

I know they need me just as much (and in some ways, even more) now that they are getting older as they did when they were little.  I will come to treasure even more the hours after school while we work on homework, cook dinner, get caught up on their days. And hey....let's face it.  Some days I will laugh at the afternoon crazy and realize that the quiet days are kind of nice sometimes. ;)

I will long to slow down time as much as I can, in effort to keep them babies as long as possible.  I will try to be wise in letting them grow up as well.  I will hug and kiss and tell them how crazy I am about them on a daily basis.  I will encourage their independence. I will fight for them.  I will live in the moment with them. 
I will probably embarrass them in front of their friends.  
I will pay for their therapy.

Happy 5th birthday to Hunter.  I'm so happy to call him my baby boy.
Love him to the moon and back, one bazillion times.