Sunday, January 22, 2012


First of all, thank you for indulging me this week as we celebrated two of our guys' birthdays.
Hunter's Lego Star Wars party yesterday was fun....thought I would share
a family pic of all of us in our Star Wars shirts.  The things I do for these boys. ;).
Thankfully Harrison's shirt fit me.
Harrison's Airsoft Camo party is next Friday. 
I will be sleeping in next Saturday. ;)

Now it's time to get back to business.

After the second post last week, I received a comment from a reader about how refreshing it was to know that I, a minister's wife, haven't finished a Beth Moore Bible study.
And now, out of the respect and love I have for Beth Moore, let me reiterate once again that it's NOT because I don't love her studies.  They are changing. 
It's me and my scatterbrained, undisciplined self that is the problem.) 
I found it interesting that out of all that was written, this part stuck with her.
And then another reader appreciated that I admitted that I'm behind in the boys' scrapbooks. have no idea.

Then later in the week I read this post from one of my new favorite blogs called Momastery.
This mom is about as real and hilarious as a girl can get.  I would LoVe to meet her...partly because she seems like lots of fun, and partly because she totally gets it.  I love her honesty, her testimony, and how she is taking her difficult past and using it for good~ namely, help others to get through their hard stuff.

Source: via Liz on Pinterest

So, with all this evidence, I started to notice a theme here:
Seems to me that there are a lot of moms wandering around,
muddling through the day-to-day stuff,
feeling like a hot mess,
thinking that all the other moms have it all together.

Anyone out there relate to this?

I know I certainly do.

Not a day goes by that I don't question a parenting decision I've made.
I worry if I'm being to hard on the boys, and they're going to resent me.
I worry that I'm not being hard enough on them, and they're going to become lazy, irresponsible adults.
Am I creating a fun, happy home for them, or am I too concerned with messes and loudness?
Are they involved in enough after school activities? Do they have enough time to just be kids?
I wonder if they are eating well enough, if I'm cooking healthy enough, if the foods they are eating are safe, if our budget can handle going completely organic, and in a few crazy-mom-guilt-fueled moments, I've seriously considered the possibility of scooping them up, moving to the country,
living off the land, and homeschooling them.

And then I come back to reality.
Because as much as I would love to keep them in a happy little farm-fed bubble, shielded from toxins, hectic schedules, and bullies....that's not the right thing for us right now.  For us.
Not to say it's not right for lots of other people.

That's the thing here....what's right for you may not be what's right for me.
And what's right for me may not be right for you.
And that's okay.
If God had created us all the same, with the same dreams, goals, hopes, and convictions,
life sure wouldn't be nearly as fun and interesting as it is, would it?

I look at myself and see so many things I wish were different.
I don't get out and walk/run as much as I should.
My quiet times are hit or miss these days.
My hair has way too much gray in it for being 34 years old. ;)
My baseboards need to be cleaner.
I miss my pre-babies tummy, and feel certain there aren't enough crunches in the world to get it back.
The condition of my stomach is so the least of my worries when compared to the love I have for my boys, but I don't really consider my stretch marks to be a trophy like some other moms might.
Maybe someday I won't care....or I'll pay some genius plastic surgeon to fix it. ;)
Really not important in the grand scheme of things, but it's the truth.

And I watch other moms, whether I'm at one of the boys' schools or out shopping, or at church,
and it's really hard not to compare myself to them.
It's amazing how I can go from feeling put together and fabulous one second,
and then frumpy and old the next.
And I figure that's probably normal, but it honestly never occurred to me that there are women out there who might be comparing themselves to me until I read those comments last week.
I'm sorry...what?

 I picture them picturing me as a put-together girl who's house is always clean, who prepares healthy delicious snacks for the boys after school each day and amazingly complicated meals each night; whose nails are always manicured, toenails are never chipped, works out every day, wakes up with the sun each morning to have her quiet time; has each child's scrapbook completely up-to-date at the end of every month; whose laundry never piles up and ironing basket is virtually empty (that one's really funny); planning fun games and activities for our afternoons and Saturdays, etc. etc. I picture that....and I laugh.

Couple that with the added pressure of being in a minister's wife role.

Now, I'm going to talk about the minister's wife thing more in a later post.
For now I'll just say that I realize the expectations are higher, and I agree they should be. 
Doesn't mean it doesn't overwhelm or scare me, but I understand and expect it.

But as far as the normal girl/mom stuff goes?

There's no reason to put this much pressure on each other.
Truth is....some of us have it together a little better than others.
Some of us are really good at keeping the stuff of life in order.
Others of us are really good at playing with our kids and allowing ourselves to live in the moment.
None of us are good at all of it all the time.
But I think that if we could stop worrying so much about what we're not doing right and be thankful for the stuff that we are managing to do right, then we're going to be okay.
At the end of the day, when I'm reading to the boys and tucking them in, and they throw those sweet little arms around me, kiss me, and tell me how much they love me....I know.

I know that we're good.
Not perfect...but good.
They are happy.
They are secure and safe.
Their tummies are full.
They are clean (most of the time;) and are cozied into their warm beds.
Life is good....enjoy it, and please....
try to just soak up the small stuff, because it's all the small stuff that adds up to one big happy life. :)

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