I left last Friday afternoon for a scrapbooking retreat that I have been looking forward to for several months now. I went for the first time last year, and LOVED it so much, that I couldn't wait to go back this year. Of course, I never handle being away from my boys very well, but I know that the time away is a good break for me, and it's good for them to get time with Brian, so once I'm gone I'm usually good to go. Not so much this year.
The first day I was fine~ laughing with friends, enjoying the peace, loving that I could totally focus on getting caught up on my scrapbooks, which is seriously like therapy for me. And I admit that it was nice not having the interruptions of, "Hey Mom, could I have a _____?"(fill in the blank with whatever you want, b/c this question gets asked a lot, and the blank is always different), or having to break up an argument, or even to have to stop to change a diaper, or to take Hud to the bathroom. Again.
I slept great that night, with no 2 am tap on my shoulder, no cries from a crib...just quiet. But the next morning, when I should have woken up refreshed and ready for another day, I woke up feeling very lonely, which is a strange feeling when you're sharing a house with around 28 people. I tried to shake it off by reminding myself that I would be home the next day, but it didn't work. At around 3:00 that afternoon, as I was in the middle of scrapbooking Hunter, I'd had enough. I missed my boys. Way too much. So much, that I decided that I had to get home that night. And when I got home that night, everyone was already asleep. I checked in on Harrison and Hudson, tucked them both in and kissed them goodnight. Then when I went in to see Hunter, he woke up and rolled over. I picked him up and I swear he gave me his first real hug. Both of those sweet arms wrapped around my neck, with that little face buried in my chest...totally worth a late-night drive home. I carried him off to bed with me, crawled in next to my sweet hubby, and happily drifted off to sleep.
I learned something this weekend. I learned that all the sleep-deprived nights, the refereeing, the cleaning up after, and any other not-so-fun part of parenting is totally worth all the benefits. There is nothing better than being with my family. I still think it is essential for a mom to get a break every once awhile~ I know it definitely makes me a better mom~ I also know that it makes coming back home to reality even sweeter.